Sick of Being Single? Make Your Relationship Goals Happen

Setting goals does not just apply to your career, your finances, or your fitness. Goals can be set for every aspect of your life and that includes your relationships.

If you are single and you’re sick of being that way, then you need to come up with a plan to change that and you need to approach it with the very same determination as you would any other type of goal.

What’s holding you back?

The first thing to do when trying to change the way you’re approaching your love life, is to look at what is holding you back.

Some questions you might ask yourself are:

• How did I get to this point?
• Are there any behavior patterns that keep repeating themselves?
• What are these patterns, particularly if they are producing negative outcomes?
• How do I go about changing that?

For many people, it’s actually a lack of trying.

Either they’ve been hurt before, they’ve lost confidence, or they just don’t realize they have to.

But at the end of the day, if you’re tired of being single, then you need to work at this just as you would anything else.

That might mean trying online dating, going out to bars more, or just asking people out in the street.

Careful with that last one!

Note: Going out for a date is probably not a great idea at the moment with a pandemic raging that just won’t quit because we cannot account for human behavior.

While some people aren’t trying at all, many are simply executing the wrong strategy or focusing on the wrong things when choosing a potential partner.

These are the folks who know they don’t want to be single any more but who aren’t quite sure how to change that.

The unspoken rule of not dating your friends

For example, if you want to have a more active sex life then you shouldn’t be dating your friends as that is more likely to lead to a long-term friendship.

Unless, of course, you are opting for an erotic friendship.

If you want a long-term relationship with a potential life-partner, then going to bars or on online hook-up sites might not be very useful.

By the way, pining after your friends is generally a bad idea.

This is not just potentially a waste of your time…

…it could potentially lead to the loss of your friendship, unless you have an awesome plan to change the way they see you.

And then there are those people who hold an inflated opinion of themselves and their desirability.

Then there’s the chance that you’re doing everything right but just not getting results, in which case you need to re-examine your approach.

This might include:

• how you see yourself
• the qualities you are seeking in a potential mate
• looking at the way you present yourself, or
• the way you come across in conversations.

Do you (unintentionally) come across as sleazy, needy, clingy, or desperate – none of these things are going to help your chances!

How to make the change

Once you’ve identified the problem, it’s time to start making the change. The first thing to do is to make the commitment to be proactive.

That could include

• regularly approaching people,
• asking your friends what they really think of you,
• signing up to online dating/match-making sites and putting in effort (just creating a profile is not enough) or
• working on improving your approach.

Then you need to come up with a plan and think about how to make best use of your resources. For instance, Facebook™ can be a surprisingly effective way to meet people and also to reconnect with friends from your past.

Perhaps there is an old flame you could start messaging?

Or maybe you could add someone that you met at an (online/virtual) party?

As always, be sure to follow safety guidelines and practice Netiquette when using social media sites as a way to meet people.

If you’re shy about approaching people, then maybe you should think of a way to work up to it and to build your confidence.

Self hypnosis can be very helpful here for changing your mindset.

Applying Law of Attraction principles can also be very helpful, if that appeals to you.

You must also acknowledge to yourself that you are imperfect and you will never be perfect. We make the mistake of looking for perfection in a mate. Someone who initially ticks all the boxes.

And then…(you fill in the blanks, why don’t you?)

Of course, you could always work on becoming a better YOU.

Perfection then, if it exists, would be something you work towards with your mate.

Now go out there and make it happen…

Be strong, stay safe. And be creative, given the current situation.

A BIG PS: The current climate of fear is reminiscent of the HIV/AIDS era. Like then (and now) you must assume that your potential partner is infected, whether with HIV or COVID-19. And some people DO lie about their status. Or else, they do not disclose it upfront. That could be for a variety of reasons, so do tread carefully. Trust your intuition.

Image by Mohamed Chermiti from Pixabay